Tldr; the freaks wannabe overlords are busted undertaking a covert psychological warfare operation against the people by combining targeted propaganda and TSA “snail” schemes at airports across the US. Their goal is to coerce us into coughing up bribes and registering our biometric/personal data into their Orwellian “precheck program”.
So how do we fight back? Ideally by boycotting air travel. When air travel is necessary, by (legally) clogging up the checkpoints.
It is the perfect symmetrical answer to their clandestine work-to-rule project. Retaliate by making sure it is as complex and lengthy as possible to screen you. If enough people fuck with the TSA like this it will render their model of control inapplicable. It is a form of civil disobedience.
Evidently, the priority is to opt-out from the pornscan.
Here are some other examples of what a playful mind might imagine:
- Choose to exercise your right to have forgotten everything about their little liquids, belts, shoes, laptops, cellphones, wallets, change, keys and suitcases processes. Start uncovering your passport and boarding pass at the last minute. Admire at length how nice the ceiling is. Tie your shoe at the best time. To their solicitations, answer in your own undocumented stochastic language. “Sorry Mr. TSA, explain again?”
- Find a solid carry-on bag/suitcase you don’t care about. Place a harmless (but dense and sizable) piece of metal inside it. Add whatever kind of harmless garbage you want (used cloths, a running vibrator, a mindgame, whatever). Close it. Solder/glue in place. “Sorry Mr. TSA, I can’t seem to open my carry-on, I don’t know what’s wrong with it”. Later, try causing a segmentation fault in his brain by humorously explaining what’s inside.
- Procure one of those TSA-compliant plastic bags they say will prevent real-flag terrorist attacks. Choose to trust that bag alone to contain the maximum quantity of liquid it can transport (100ml). Syrup, shampoo or perfume, or any mix thereof, are good choices (so is the free soap at the airports’ bathroom). Don’t spend too much effort closing it. “Oh no, I spilled my precious liquid on your TSA floor/conveyor belt Mr. TSA, I’m so sorry!”
- Tape coins to random places on your body under your clothes. Submit to the obligatory hand wand. “It is to protect my organs against EM radiation at high altitude, Mr. TSA”. Go on to explain the underlying medical considerations while smilingly and politely requesting that you may retain your infrastructure. If it’s no, remove it as gracefully and slowly as possible; if you’re a healthy woman and you don’t mind, please exercise your right to do it in full public view so other people are (mostly) entertained and (possibly) slowed down.
- Find one of those cool brain-teaser boxes. Place your previously-used dense and sizable metal object inside it. Close the box, place it inside the bag that will go through the X-Ray. “Sorry Mr. TSA, I really can’t remember how to open it, can’t you figure it out with your little friends?”
The following examples were submitted by Goldandliberty readers and are thus unrated (I suspect them to be unfavorable with the TSA):
- Get a smartphone with a decent speaker, record the beeping sound the metal detector portal makes, replay it at best times while waiting in line. With a bluetooth RC it can be done remotely (while in a bag, sitting with the TSA, or misplaced somewhere). Music can also be played loudly; maybe people will start dancing (coranic chants are the least popular music).
- Any electrical socket accessible anywhere near TSA land may risk being short-circuited by a mindless passenger using a damaged phone charger. “Did I do that?“
- Accidentally spill some Super Glue on an old smartphone or bag handle. Don’t touch it when handing to TSA man. “Oh no Mr. TSA, look at that, my tube of glue spilled itself!”
The following examples have also been proposed to Goldandliberty but can be ruled out as impractical or downright illegal:
- Find an empty medicine tube with a dehumidifying cap. Take the cap off, remove the compartment’s membrane and the silica gel. Fill the cap compartment with Substance number 1. Close the compartment with a thin circular inox plate of the appropriate diameter. Place a decent permanent magnet on the cap’s opposite side to hold the plate in place. Fill the plastic tube with Substance number 2. Place the cap on the tube, close it. Put the prank in the TSA plastic bag. At the right time, displace the magnet. “Whose plastic bag is this? What the hell did your X-Ray machine do to that guy’s medicine Mr. TSA?” For this to be funny and legal, Substance 1 and 2 need to be very carefully chosen. Diet coke and mentos is probably a wrong idea (and not enough coke I surmise). Things that must be avoided at all costs are things like glycerin or alcohol combined with potassium permanganate, or hydrochloric acid with aluminum. Even worse would be for the lithium from an AA Battery to be mixed with water, never do this!
- Get an old (reasonably thick) laptop, open it, remove its insides (get rid of everything except the case, the battery and the screen). Get a PCB, and build an EMP circuit; to get high voltage, use the laptop battery combined with a cheap high-voltage generator from Ebay. To get the EMP pulses, there are two options: either simply run the current in series through a spark gap and an antenna (a 5mm cable going 5 times around the case’s inner perimeter will do), or if you mind the noise and the “what the hell is your X-Ray machine doing to my precious laptop Mr. TSA!”, you can repeatedly load a low-capacitance high-voltage capacitor and discharge it in the same antenna. Such EMP generators do fuck-up most consumer electronics. No idea what they’ll do in a TSA X-Ray machine. It should probably not be tried. You would need to add the appropriate switch/timer/RC controls anyway. Microwave oven generators are also frowned upon inside TSA machinery (power supply would prove a challenge).